To: Whom it may concern!!

freaking sick now!! juz feeling pissed with my own life and happenings.. feeling damn emo now!!

life dun seem to b right for mi from start til now.. past memories keep on coming back like an old movie.. ma chiam like nicholas's song.. 旧伤口，一直缠着我， 一直不让我走， 像多年的朋友！！

i m feeling tired.. reali v tired.. i noe i take things too hard.. i noe i m v 钻牛角尖~ but i juz couldnt help it but tink alot.. there r lotsa things for mi to tink n do everyday.. i m juz freaking tired of moving on.. can time stop for mi? i noe it cant!!

e older i grow, i feel that there r lesser n lesser frenz ard mi.. so less that at times, i wil feel afraid of it.. YES!! i m afraid of loneliness... i m afraid of darkness and i m afraid of those things that may seem minor n small to all others.. yes.. call mi lousy or hypocrite for all u ppl wan.. i may seem strong outside.. but that arent myself..

i have changed.. yes!! i have!! 4 yrs back, u wil stil c a strong mi.. but how bout 4 yrs later, which is now? you wont b able to c mi shed a tear in front of anyone last time.. but now, whenever i wanna breakdown, it seems like ppl dont expect mi to do this.. i noe 眼泪对很多人来说是一种负担！i wont wan to c my frenz cry.. but when they wanna vent all out, where can they go? they would come to mi.. but when i need ppl ard, i can hardly find ppl ard.. or whoever i feel comfortable with to share all things.. its kind of heart-wrenching!! as none of ur "frenz" are ard.. at times, i do question myself.. is it dat i not dat gd enuff to b their fren or wat.. everythin seem so bleak! i tried my best already.. i noe i m demanding.. i have high expectation in my frenz.. YES.. but, its for everyone's gd..it is not e first day i got stab by frenz i trust.. its not e first time i got so freaking disappointed with ppl ard mi.. TIS IS NOT THE BLOODY FIRST TIME ALREADY!! no matter how strong i m, i wont b able to take it.. i do not have a heart full of metal which doesnt hurt.. i did even change my mobile and let no one able to find mi except my family!! but does it help? i doesnt help at all.. as u ppl c mi outside, u wil make it sound as though i owe u millions thus change no dun let u ppl noe.. but to mi, y shd i even let u noe my no when i dont tink u r treating mi as ur fren? y shd i help u ppl no matter how u treat mi? y shd i even care bout how miserable u ppl are when no one did so to mi?

y shd i always b the one losing out? i dont expect u to treat mi e same as how i treat u.. but at least, i didnt treat u shabbily.. y shd i receive such treatments frm u ppl? it has always been my motto and principle that i treat ppl better than i treat myself.. i ALWAYS make it a point!! but slowly, i realise ppl ard are taking it for granted.. i feel that i m always the one giving.. it makes no point.. always giving n giving.. i arent santa claus.. i do feel the strain of givin n i dun mind bcoz u ppl r my FRENZ.. but wat do i get returned? i get SHIT.. like i always say, whatever i do i dun owe ppl any explaination as i 对得起自己的良心!! dont u ppl understand tis sentence? since when did i ever disappoint u ppl?

from primary school to sec n till now, how many setbacks must i cross? how many things do i have to keep to myself n say nothin to u ppl? i nvr say doesnt mean i duno.. i nvr say doesnt mean that i wil let it go.. it stays firm n strong in my mind and couldnt let go of it due to the hurt caused! have u ever put urself in my shoe n tink? i dun tink u ppl ever did it.. since u ppl didnt even have the courtesy to do that when i dun tink that i wil b able to do all those to u ppl any mre.. pls dun come chasing after mi when u need ppl to acc.. and pls dun ever bug mi anymre with ur nonsense.. i wont entertain any of them.. not even a single bit of it!! tis time round, i m not goin to even budge at all... tis is the max!! i already hit my max and i couldnt take it anymre.. i arent miss " know-all".. i arent miss " generous" and i arent miss " stupid".. dont u ppl understand? i have my own problems too.. and sorry to inform u that u ppl have already max out the "credit limit" i have for u ppl.. anythin. pls settle for u.. i wont wan to b label miss"trouble" or miss " act as though she noe all" anymre..

there are stil lots.. i juz cant b bothered to say everythin out.. but one thing for sure.. one day, if i bloody wanna 撕破脸, i make sure u ppl regret whatever u do!!

Signing off,
MS "TROUBLED" aka MS "VICIOUS"

2:43 PM